In so far as a photographer is an artist who should make a statement, here are several rules of thumb about what should be in an artist’s statement.
1.
Artist’s statements were invented by photographers who hope for fame by positing the inane as if it were meaningful. For example “the earth is beautiful so I’d better stop chucking rubbish in my neighbour’s driveway”. Or “the earth is heating up so let’s turn everything off”.
The purpose of an artist’s statement is to raise one’s stature within the photographers’ fraternity. It also helps convince everyone that you have, by mysterious means, acquired or been gifted with special knowledge, and that this knowledge comes from ‘up there’.
2.
The more senseless the statement, the more it will appeal to like-minded photographers.
3.
If you’re any good as a photographer you don’t need to make a statement, your pictures will do that for you, but let’s not dwell on the positive.
4.
Vietnam combat photographers would jump out of a helicopter with one Leica and 10 rolls of Tri-X. Today we can’t go anywhere without Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, two camera bodies, five lenses, a $700 carbon fibre tripod, a $600 ball-head, a laptop, a hair stylist, a caterer, an app that tells us where the sky is and a spiritual adviser.
5.
People with spiritual advisers are often those who make artists’ statements.
6.
A spiritual adviser is a personal trainer with flab and nasal hair.
7.
To agree with the blueprint, an artist’s statement should be vague and vacuous. Pompous is good too. If possible it should include references to the following: nature’s majesty; rendering the material ethereal; the blazing glory of a sunrise (sunset is optional); walking with the light; talking to the forest; sharing a deep and abiding passion for the environment; the wonders of the wild earth; evoking an emotional response; the artist’s vision merging with the landscape (whatever that means); at one with the wilderness (but not bears); capturing a unique moment in time; and the ‘spiritual nature’ of the photographic experience.
Here are more themes a photographer should consider for his or her artist’s statement:
• “Nature isn’t good enough so I improved it, that’s all”.
• “I do not fake reality, I enhance it”.
• “I do not exaggerate colour”.
• “I do not use Transform to make mountains tall enough or rivers wide enough (boop-boop-ee-doo)”.
• “I do not ‘finetune’ contrast, tonality, luminosity, or any of that stuff”.
• “I do not stretch clouds with Warp”.
• “I do not use Overlay Mode to add contrast that wasn’t there”.
• “I do not use Topaz Adjust to make water look like porridge”.
• “I don’t, and never will, use shutter speeds faster than half an hour”.
• “I will use two polarisers and a 10-stop ND with every exposure. At night.
• "Every sunrise and sunset was the best I’ve ever seen”.
• “Everything I photograph is in a ‘remote area far from human habitation’.Or at least outside”.
• “I always call a picture an ‘image’. I’m too important to call it a ‘photograph’”.
• “Only certain people are allowed to look at my images”.
• “I will leave a light footprint on Mother Mature’s bosom but can’t do much about tyre tracks”
8.
A cleverly conceived artist’s statement will convince the gullible that within you alone resides the secret of the universe (and how to make really crunchy mince pies).
9.
Your artist’s statement should make it clear that you never found it necessary, or ever thought of copying the work of others, or the elements therein (even the Rule of Seven Sixteenths). And if you had, it wouldn’t be copying; in your case it would be ‘drawing inspiration’.
10.
Finally, a truly powerful artist’s statement should contain the subtle but unmistakable inference that your body of work comprises images that will forever remain unique. Indeed, they are so unique they will never be seen again, for no-one else could possibly match your level of accomplishment.
Professional photographers don’t make artist’s statements, they make a living, but none of this will matter much if we get a giant sun flare and Mother nature’s bosom burns to a crisp.
The End
------------------------------------
Posted by Phillip Noll on December 29, 2011 at 11:48 AM
AWSOME! I'm glad I have most of these tips in my artist statement and you have given me some additional things to add and try!! Thanks!!
BTW, WTH is a tyre??
Posted by Phillip Noll on December 29, 2011 at 11:50 AM
This is hilarious, Barry. There is definitely food for thought, here. Well done!
--P
Posted by John Tobias on December 29, 2011 at 3:45 PM
I be ill lit erate so I dosent hav to mak statement. Just tke picthcers!
Posted by Bruce King on December 29, 2011 at 3:46 PM
WAAHAHAHA!!!!
There's a lot of gems in there but I especially like, "I will use two polarizers and a 10 stop ND filter with every exposure.....At night."---Hilarious.
Thanks for sharing.
Posted by Joseph Jupin on December 29, 2011 at 5:03 PM
Dear Barry...I think that you are a very creative, intelligent and well educated person who has probably been staring at the moon too long through a high-powered telescope...similar to "VanGogh" or Anton van Leeuwenhoek. But I do enjoy your ramblings.
Easy, I'll write an artist's statement everyone can use. It'll be the ready made, one size fits all, universal artists statement. Add the art and you're done. What do you think?
Posted by Anil Rao on December 31, 2011 at 3:20 PM
Easy, I'll write an artist's statement everyone can use. It'll be the ready made, one size fits all, universal artists statement. Add the art and you're done. What do you think?
I think you should also sign that artist's statement. Any art added to it will merely serve as decoration.
And I thought tearing off my shirt sleeves would be enough.
Posted by Lorna Taylor on January 6, 2012 at 11:28 AM
I'll speak for myself here , as a painter when I do a gallery show or show my photos people always want to know what each piece means and do I have some deep connection. I just want to say I painted it of photographed it because it looked pretty !!! I guess saying I have no clue why I painted it or photographed it , or saying because it felt right might not get me as many sales !!! But I agree with you a 100% Barry, how do can you explain your art without sounding like a complete ass !Cheers
Posted by David Graham on January 7, 2012 at 9:04 PM
My all time favorite last line to an artist's statement remains:
" The underlying spiritual / metaphysical narrative is, I'm sure, too obvious to require explanation. My heart is full!"
Discussion
23 repliesIn so far as a photographer is an artist who should make a statement, here are several rules of thumb about what should be in an artist’s statement.
1.
Artist’s statements were invented by photographers who hope for fame by positing the inane as if it were meaningful. For example “the earth is beautiful so I’d better stop chucking rubbish in my neighbour’s driveway”. Or “the earth is heating up so let’s turn everything off”.
The purpose of an artist’s statement is to raise one’s stature within the photographers’ fraternity. It also helps convince everyone that you have, by mysterious means, acquired or been gifted with special knowledge, and that this knowledge comes from ‘up there’.
2.
The more senseless the statement, the more it will appeal to like-minded photographers.
3.
If you’re any good as a photographer you don’t need to make a statement, your pictures will do that for you, but let’s not dwell on the positive.
4.
Vietnam combat photographers would jump out of a helicopter with one Leica and 10 rolls of Tri-X. Today we can’t go anywhere without Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, two camera bodies, five lenses, a $700 carbon fibre tripod, a $600 ball-head, a laptop, a hair stylist, a caterer, an app that tells us where the sky is and a spiritual adviser.
5.
People with spiritual advisers are often those who make artists’ statements.
6.
A spiritual adviser is a personal trainer with flab and nasal hair.
7.
To agree with the blueprint, an artist’s statement should be vague and vacuous. Pompous is good too. If possible it should include references to the following: nature’s majesty; rendering the material ethereal; the blazing glory of a sunrise (sunset is optional); walking with the light; talking to the forest; sharing a deep and abiding passion for the environment; the wonders of the wild earth; evoking an emotional response; the artist’s vision merging with the landscape (whatever that means); at one with the wilderness (but not bears); capturing a unique moment in time; and the ‘spiritual nature’ of the photographic experience.
Here are more themes a photographer should consider for his or her artist’s statement:
• “Nature isn’t good enough so I improved it, that’s all”.
• “I do not fake reality, I enhance it”.
• “I do not exaggerate colour”.
• “I do not use Transform to make mountains tall enough or rivers wide enough (boop-boop-ee-doo)”.
• “I do not ‘finetune’ contrast, tonality, luminosity, or any of that stuff”.
• “I do not stretch clouds with Warp”.
• “I do not use Overlay Mode to add contrast that wasn’t there”.
• “I do not use Topaz Adjust to make water look like porridge”.
• “I don’t, and never will, use shutter speeds faster than half an hour”.
• “I will use two polarisers and a 10-stop ND with every exposure. At night.
• "Every sunrise and sunset was the best I’ve ever seen”.
• “Everything I photograph is in a ‘remote area far from human habitation’.Or at least outside”.
• “I always call a picture an ‘image’. I’m too important to call it a ‘photograph’”.
• “Only certain people are allowed to look at my images”.
• “I will leave a light footprint on Mother Mature’s bosom but can’t do much about tyre tracks”
8.
A cleverly conceived artist’s statement will convince the gullible that within you alone resides the secret of the universe (and how to make really crunchy mince pies).
9.
Your artist’s statement should make it clear that you never found it necessary, or ever thought of copying the work of others, or the elements therein (even the Rule of Seven Sixteenths). And if you had, it wouldn’t be copying; in your case it would be ‘drawing inspiration’.
10.
Finally, a truly powerful artist’s statement should contain the subtle but unmistakable inference that your body of work comprises images that will forever remain unique. Indeed, they are so unique they will never be seen again, for no-one else could possibly match your level of accomplishment.
Professional photographers don’t make artist’s statements, they make a living, but none of this will matter much if we get a giant sun flare and Mother nature’s bosom burns to a crisp.
The End
------------------------------------
BTW, WTH is a tyre??
Bazz.
--P
There's a lot of gems in there but I especially like, "I will use two polarizers and a 10 stop ND filter with every exposure.....At night."---Hilarious.
Thanks for sharing.
" The underlying spiritual / metaphysical narrative is, I'm sure, too obvious to require explanation. My heart is full!"
??????????????
Dave Graham
East River, SD
Thank you for making my day!
Lynn